What I'm Doing

Just finished my shower-bath, see it's late.  Doing my nails, again..  Cut my bangs.  Guess I have to pack and do my lunch, might go to bed and plan to wake up early, but my parents will be in the kitchen so maybe not.  :/

What do you think?

So, what do you think about Ellen DeGeneres?  She seems to be prejudiced about kids being cool.  Like, that's been like her sorta game.  She has lots of games like that.  She seems kinda mad about me just because of the n word thing, and my life's been tested because I got tired of school and other kids didn't.

Carousel of Progress

Ellen DeGeneres, stop pretending to send me stupid messages.  I deserve to get what I want.  What is wrong with her?  Stop wasting my time, you baboon, you useless gamer.  You have no sense of humor and you just hurt people.  You're not allowed to stop the progress I expect.

Roller Coaster

Why are people from California and Florida like me all acting like life goes on a roller coaster?  Maybe, go move somewhere else.  That's just something you do for fun, not a way to hurt people!  WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

chickins

WHAT IS THIS?  STOP ATTACKING ME, ELLEN DEGENERES AND ORLA FALLON.  Stop being dummies and tell me what ya'll are up to.  You can't control me because of the mistakes that others have made.  I think I am fine, finer than you.

You're just chickins.

Facebook Post

Oh, I wish I would have called..I forgot what I was going to say- Anyway..Forgot again. Well, with me, she made a connection. I know at 1 point that I thought Anastasia was tacky like a New Yo'ker I guess from somewhere other than SW NY. :/ Anyway. ;D I don't think Amy likes either of us because my dad is from Pennsylvania and not like a major area like Pittsburgh or Allentown.. I think that people are always really sensitive to people who started life in a major area of Florida, so I've always not really explored that since there's nothing in it for me without parents from Florida and with my dad not having any modern culture, so me not having any foot in the culture, though my mom isn't even American. She got her citizenship when I was a kid. It was so funny..ha hahah something you'd have liked to have influenced and I wished I would be esteemed in. I wasn't really bothered, as you can see. Amy is a nice girl, different. Perhaps, people born around 1990 are a bit unattractive, I mean in generality, not to point fingers, must have been a cuter kid than me, I mean. :} She's not exactly intellectual, so I don't think I can connect to her. She sees me as a physically fit person who's awake to the culture. I think she was interested in me, but we were leaving anyway. She didn't really make a move. xp They were connecting better than me, unfortunately, was kinda thinking that Amy would connect with me, you know? Not sure why I got along so well with Anastasia. It was because I think people from NYC are more out in the public and for some reason I can see certain people from the East I know as white? So, Anastasia, was like really mad at Amy and like attacking her the whole time, and Amy pretty much just stood there and was feeling sorry for herself.. They were so close up and connected. I have no idea why Amy cared because I would just probably not have that happen. Ah! :/ Anastasia, yes, she just didn't want Amy to act like she was black. I don't know why she decided to make a scene of it. So, that was why she was acting like that. She shouldn't have attacked. I guess it startled Anastasia, like for fun. I know people from NYC do that stuff.. :/ My life just because more action-packed or high-pitched today. =^ I dunno, I was attacked by Tim Burton all the time and people he knows sexually, not that you just you, anyway well what happened was he is picky about like me sculpting every move like I'm a robot and not very mobile, and that's like all he ever thinks about. The sad fact is I've spent lots of my life "guiltily" doing that and now I'm kinda more prone to my mom's side, which is the natural side, right? My biggest problem I told the therapist (from Miami) and police. I walked around Orlando since like 2005 and I would just feel jolts of torture in public and that's why I just stayed home for like 7 years. So, I mentioned that because I can't like make myself think positive all the time and I still expect to get some attention? My friends stopped talking to me. My ideas are always flipping, I can't just robotically slice myself into the truth. It seems like it would hurt. :I Soo..it might be an issue the kinds of students that you get, not sure why they are in college? I mean, good they want to take your class. Lots of people would, you know. I have no idea how they would care. We just have like a mental block. I'm genuinely interested in everyone, in any culture in the U.S., not 1 for Europe and just the beach. :I Okay, thanks for your concern. I hope that you become more attentive to your students's psychiatric needs and qualms. :I I just was really concerned, not sure who else to tell, maybe will talk to her other teacher but maybe not since I'm not in that class and can't monitor what she would do. Thankss. Oh, yes, her mood switched and she turned against us like she was cool and it was okay since you know she admits that, but I think she is just well-intended. I sorta escaped the social scene when I left Florida, so I haven't really gotten into that. Again, yes, thanks, was just worried, can print it out for my rehearsal journal. I was just worried Amy got hurt, not worried about the New Yo'ker.. Thanks. =}

maybe ill go over cheer

Facebook Post

from before

 

Hey, Ginny, we just practiced. I think that the girl from NYC, who is African-American, was really upset the whole time for some reason wanting the girl with the curly very fair hair from California (English) to connect with her, not as separate, so I was worried about her. I found she is a singer and am going to her performance class next week. Maybe, you should get to know this person.. http://cab1986orlfl15.blogspot.com/2013/02/practice.html Sorry, I hope I’m not bothering, just thought I was supposed to let you know, somehow, on your site. Don’t want to take up too much, just thought it was significant, sure you think so, too..

Christina AJ Barrett: Practice

cab1986orlfl15.blogspot.com

Back

Gonna take a shower-bath, blog, possibly sing, and go to bed!  Leave early tomorrow.  Guess I get my cell phone Wednesday after the therapist appointment?  Or Friday.  :{

Was full from a full wrap..went to the bathroom a lot.  Missed the bus and had to pull the chord without knowing what I was doing but succeeded.

Facebook Post

It also shows a picture of the vase with flowers.

It won’t copy now, guess I’ll copy it later..

Practice

So, the black girl from NYC when she was 13, 10 years ago, pretty much didn’t want the white blonde with very fair, curly hair, with an English origin family, to like not connect with her because of race.  Then, the Cali girl treated us like we weren’t from Florida nor Cali.  I don’t have some stupid culture test.  Anyway, so, you black girl were like yelling in her face the entire script!  Too bad she has no one to turn to.  :’{  I’m going to her voice performance class next week I think.  Help!  :0

Bye 4 Now

So, I'll meet the girls, and then I'll go to the library to print out a map, probably post here, who knows what.  Want to get a new cell phone tonight.

nu photos -n- vidz v moi

Flickr

YouTube

How Things Are Swingin

I had to recall, again.  I got the bus route down, no cell, could ask my parents to schedule a trip but don't think they have time, sounds like the bus comes on the hour by the hour.

The Plan -:{

calling again
might walk to the bus, but I don't have a cell phone so not sure if I should or not, could ask the bus driver for help, know the area
so, it'll take 3 hours?
it keeps saying 10 calls ahead - this is so worthless, I have to reserve 2 hours in advance and get there by 2 so leave by 12:30 P.M., so a little more than an hour, 9 calls ahead

Stop

They stopped telling me how many people are ahead.  Might call back.  Checking bus service.  Will probably have to leave soon.  }=

The Reason ... I Wake up Every Day

The reason I didn't like my cousin was because she got all the attention and acted like she was white and I wasn't, that she was whiter and I wasn't that white.

Waiting and Hoping for * to Appear

I'm waiting for the pick-up line '8|.

14 calls ahead for like 5 minutes
10 calls ahead for like 3-4 minutes
9 calls ahead *rattle*

2 hours in advance

Ate

2 cracker sticks with dip
crackers with spread (Cream Cheese & Chives)
leftover hot dog - Oscar Meyer Weiner bun length my dad got beef franks with wheat bun and Heinz ketchup, like ¾+ hot dog
Chef Boyardee canned macaroni & cheese
1¼ wheat bagels with crunchy Peter Pan peanut butter and grape jelly with no fruit

Twitter

Wonder Wonder Wonder

So, my dad won't take me to school in the morning?  My mom "won't?"  I just didn't think to call because I was so tired.  I hope the bus works.  I did my notes and didn't get an e-mail, so, it doesn't really matter.  If I did get an e-mail, I don't know what I'd say, ask for a lift?  I think I can do the bus and hope I can do it in the future.  It is a nice bus on the outside, and I mean I just feel funny as a disability person.  I just want to get out of this.  I feel bad about the financial aid.

Oh be kind to your fine feathered friends

Why would Ellen DeGeneres think I am not like my mom in a good way?  Just get the point.  What the fuck do you want?

Sicko

That's so sick that someone like Ellen DeGeneres would follow Tim Burton and think I need extra rules when people have been like killing me saying I'm too good and not like approaching me, while I sit there and think I'm cutesy and gleaming alone, not unattractive, not inhuman, not unintelligent.  Isn't this an old issue?

Just what makes that little old ant...

My mom thinks the disability etc. or whatever services will still be open now, demanding here in Orlando, though I think not.  Who knows if they have something on the way, though, unsure of this, really, though I don't really think so.

Snack

the Cream Cheese & Chives crackers w|spread

WAH

My parents can't take me to school to practice, so I have to go by bus.  I've never been on the buses here.  My lunch is packed, probably will get a diet shake.  Might take 1½-2 hours.  Probably 2 or 3 stops.

Nanny ♫

Why does my mom act like I did things I didn't do?  People just act like I'm not white.  That's kinda sick.  It just seems like she's not European.  Why is she telling me all these sick ways I'm like my dad or like my dad isn't strong or he's too fat?  I did gymnastics and I wasn't lazy.  My dad is a good guy and did some neat stuff, photography and rhythm guitar??  What's so funny about rhythm guitar??  What does that mean about photography?  She acts like I react the wrong way, but that doesn't mean I'm bad.  It just feels like I belong in a Penn state asylum for not seeming detailed and alive.  I talked to my grandma, and my face was not as detailed after I got contacts.  Ellen DeGeneres acted nasty about me thinking it was cool I posted something of this nature online because she's not from a farm family partly, maybe.  She thought she'd get away with it and will deny this fact.  I am not sure what really happened, for sure, though..  I don't need someone with a problem to monitor me, like my friend from Saint Augustine.  She's a brat and bully.  What's so good about her?  She wastes my time when I see her and doesn't comment.  She shoved me off on Facebook like I was a loser.  She made a racistly influenced remark on MySpace.

HUN GRY

Pulling @

Why is everyone being mean to Frankie but acting like he's overly sensitive?  I mean what I say.  They're being mean and making it hard for everyone else.  Órla Karron Fallon is the major public force in the universe, an Irish gal with a (Norman) French last name, real French, from Normandy.  We had to check her Twitter and Facebook.  Also, things seem to have come up, at the time, it so happened.  Before, she was pregnant, not sure how much of that quality time had elapsed.  I know I started watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and probably had to let out some weird ideas and tried to retreat.

Contagious

So, watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," I was thinking of, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer."  Well, all the white people in the U.S. have ancestors from snowy climates.  It just was wrong that the humor of it was twisted to me.  I think it's not supposed to be that way.  I mean, if it were, okay, but I think it was just a mistake.  Why am I uptight that I might forget more about important things I haven't written down I've imagined?  I mean, I might, but it's not "because Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres says so."  How corny, ha haha ha ha.  3D  She is shaped like a block of ice.

Edit

probably Anglo-

Edit

I added that the Irish is from my dad's dad's side.

Acting I

You had your chance to talk last night. I begged you to come upstairs with me. I was looking for romance and instead I got a petrified woman standing in my doorway. I never want to hear the sound of your voice again, do you understand?
*suddenly sees petrified woman*
*outbreaks at "voice"*


There's a key to the back door. Stick to the hallway and your room and you won't get hurt.
*talks like she's a dog or visitor, like a ghost idea*
*like Beauty & the Beast*


Not in my apartment. I don't want to see you. Cover the mirrors when you walk through the house. And I'm sick and tired of smelling your cooking. I've had it up to here with your polyunsaturated oils. Now get that spaghetti off of my table.
*toilet room in dream*
*mirrors like jewelry revealing explicit material*
*softens at cooking and polyunsaturated oils*
*spaghetti like @ Disney that is gone!*


What the hell's so funny about it?


(pasta hurled)
Now it's garbage!!


I like it.
*crossly, contradicting*


You touch one strand of that linguini and I'll break every sinus in your head.
*"insane," manic*


I'll tell you exactly what it is. It's the cooking, the cleaning and the crying. It's the moose calls that open your ears at two o'clock in the morning. I can't take it anymore, Florence, I'm cracking up. Everything you do irritates me. And when you're not here, the things I know you're going to do when you come in irritate me ... You leave me little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of corn flakes. F.U." ... It took me three hours to figure out that F.U. was Florence Unger ... It's no one's fault, Florence. We're just a rotten pair.
*raises eyebrow @ F.U.*
*ecstatic @ 3 hours of blank*


That's just the frame. The picture I haven't even painted yet ... Every night in my diary I write down the things you did that day that aggravate me ... This is June and so far I filled up till January ... And I haven't even put down the Gaspacho Brothers yet.
*into space*
*like Anne Frank*


What sex life? I can't even have dirty dreams. You come in and clean them up.
*earnest, no sex life!*


Don't point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.
*violent, eyes bulging*


What's this? A display of temper? I haven't seen you really angry since the day I dropped my eyelashes in your pancake batter.
*thinking @ the past, crossly*


I'm trembling all over. Look how I'm trembling all over.
*like My Fair Lady, sits down in chair, "without you--*


... If I've just been told off, I think I may have missed it.
*insane*


Good.


I see.


Is that so?


Is that it?


What is that, a Cole Porter song?
*staring at her like she's weird, in lala land*


Good. Because now I'm going to tell -you- off ... For eight months, I've lived all alone in this apartment. I thought I was miserable. I thought I was lonely. I took you in here because I thought we could help each other ... And after three weeks of close, personal contact, I have hives, shingles and the heartbreak of psoriasis ... I am growing old at twice the speed of sound ... I have seven new liver spots on my hand that look like the Big Dipper ... I can't take any more, Florence ... Do me a favor and move into a kitchen. Live with your pots, your pans, your ladle and your meat thermometer ... I'm going inside to lie down now ... My teeth are coming lose and I'm afraid if I drop them in here, you'll get out your vacuum cleaner again.
*as if no one was even listening!..*


In the kitchen! I want to get your head in the oven and cook it like a capon.
*not feeling well..*


It's no use running, Florence. There's only six rooms and I know all the shortcuts.
*threateningly*

What's Down

So, my dad got me 2 like medium-ish trash cans, which remind me of Africa! dark brown.

Gotta go prepare lunch - sausage, if we got fish ... peel cucumber, wash lettuce, pack the brown stuff, hope my credit card will get me my diet choco smoothie.  Oh yes, see if we have chicken or the honey ham, with the ranch, cheese whatever we got, lettuce or greens, on a wheat wrap my dad got.  Not even sure how I am getting to school.  Maybe, I can listen to music, dunno.. don't really feel like doing this, my dad thinks my EBT card will work elsewhere.  4:52 A.M.  I better get to packin'.  :0

A Nice, Artistic Girl-

It is hard to say that I am meaner than my mom.  I only get upset if something happens to do with my little brother.

She is ***y?  What does that say about me?  My dad isn't un***y compared to other dudes.  I don't know any really ***y guys.  Maybe, I'm gay.  Don't I have a choice to try to be ***y?  Am I just genetic shit?  I don't believe I would ever be like my dad in a way I don't want to be, though I find myself looking like my mom in weird ways.  You think maybe it's a psychiatric problem?  Maybe, my mom is just a really good person.  Well, I know this guy in England with a nice dad and a ***y mom.  His dad is a classical composer but supposedly died when we met.  }3  He was sick.  I guess my dad scraped for what he could muster and er I am an avid classical artist, as well..

Update

last name

The Image @ the Ft.L Police

I saw a demented man with a wicked grin on Twitter.  That used to be my aunt, but she moved to NW Florida, not on the beach, between Orlando and Gainesville..  She was so interested in me when e-mail came out and we became Barretts-in-New-Orleans..my friend's family did the same thing..I'm also up at Rochester where the other aunt from Fort Lauderdale lived a year, with her illegitimate daughter.

Crazy Intentions

Why is my dad like a Looney Tune or Mickey Mouse about not having fun meaning you're good?  I don't kid around.  I know the world is about having fun and that problems are ill-intended.

Mockery

I'm so annoyed I keep getting pitted with these sudden, annoying, unexpected or whatever sorta really tacky, cutting images of things to mock me, like I'm in some program, like I'm perverted to want love from adults.

Cool Orleans

I had this really cool friend supposedly from San Fransisco who had lots of cats.  She was just all around the center of attention, whether or not she knows.  She is 1 year older, a month, or maybe so, I think, shy.  I remember because I saw her for her birthday, a bit after, once or twice, and she showed me she finally got some hip clothing.  She knew the popular boy in her year, though born in October or November, from New Orleans, whose best friend died.  She sat with him at pep rallies.  He was so, like, attractive when I interacted with him, like at P.E., sometimes or at least once at length, with the classes separated into 4.  The school was about 200 students per year.  It seems like all we could think about was like oh should you have been on like the dance team?  What about ballet, anyway?  What was I thinking?  What happens to people with dark hair?  I did fit in.  I did make flag team, but since my friend didn't I didn't do it.  They train with band, 1 hour during the day, which would have replaced Art II, "Advanced" Drawing and Painting, and after school a lot.  I guess it was a bit difficult, I mean they don't do this in junior high all the time.  It seemed like I'd make it.  Actually, I was hoping the boy would stay and I'd stay in it.  The drama teacher left, too.  Hardly anyone was in drama, and no one my age, the other few a bit older.  That boy was in choir, too, and sang Titanic as a solo.  I didn't try to get in Talented Music until later.  I found I wanted to quit when I got older and heard it would have been better so much if I did it the 1st year with the other teacher who left.  It was so sucky after my initial year!  I guess a year of Talented Theater did it, too.  The community theater had a dying agenda.  I didn't do theater at NOCCA because Classical Instrumental Music for piano was more smart and connected the arts, better, and gave me more valuable tools.  I might not have went back were I still in high school.  It's not a reliable program and may be for mainstream New Orleanians.  It was fun in the summer, but they don't let you board, since I went.

Continental Divide

People from South Carolina think they are very Southern, more than New Orleans.  Georgia is special and feels more like the same.  I'm guessing that anywhere other than Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Kentucky, maybe the Capitol, feel more Southern than New Orleans.  Even places like Las Vegas feel more like barren and wild yet more civilized.

An' I Can' Fight This Feeling Anymore

What do you think of the funny feeling for whatever reason the guy actor carrying away darling Cosette in Les Misérables, seemed like he pointedly drew in the forces or whatever the word is, summoned, of Tim Burton, like he's a pedophile?  I really don't believe in not doing something about anything, the way I never got online.  The thing is I did get online, it so happened, when I was 20, well 21.  Anyway, I wanted to IM with my friends and e-mail people.  I just never thought of Blogger but probably should have known it was invented after awhile.  I didn't even know which high school nor college I was going to until I went.

How shall I do it? 8>

Did you think it was a big deal it's Tim Burton's fault that all this popular stuff went out of style?  Think of how he did it.

Stalking

After I used the luscious scrub at Bath & Body Works at age 20, I noticed they stopped selling it, for Christmas.  Their products are shitty, now.

ma-a-ad

When the n word thing happened with Tim Burton's daughter, the Blackberry stopped going in style.  Photobucket has video ads when loading.  Twitter took down the option to see lots of pix at once, though in the past week you can flip through them.  I NEED A NEW CELL PHONE.

Welcome

Welcome to my Blogger!